One Last Week

Time keeps accelerating. It is Tuesday morning of week 12 of my leave, and I have only a handful of days left before I return to my cube. The days of email and meetings and (gasp) writing (!) again are coming.

Naturally I am in a retrospective mood. This leave has felt like a continuous errand spanning three months of my life. Since mid-March, I have done little more than clean the house, pay bills, file taxes, walk the aisles of Trader Joe's and Russo's, drive kids around Newton/Waltham, and change/feed/sleep Lucia. I have done little in the way of personal projects. I have barely blogged (especially compared to my last leave, when I was writing 1-2 times per week), my cookbooks all continued to gather dust, and I read exactly one Raymond Carver short story. So much for spending time with books again.

My one success has been ultimate photography. I've earned a few bucks by shooting some tournaments, and I've also covered the area's newest professional ultimate team, the Boston Whitecaps, even managing to get a couple pictures into the Metrowest Daily News.

But despite the monotony of everyday life with three kids, there is no part of me that wants to exchange full-time parenting for my old spot in the workforce. I'm simply having too much fun doing everything here. Other parents and peers will sometimes shoot me a look of disbelief when I say this; I think they expect that most men have would have had their fill of diaper duty after 12 weeks, and would be ready for a return to career pursuits. But it's true. All of my work here has meaning.

Lucia, the reason I am home at all, is growing more interesting and beautiful by the day. Her smile is wide and contagious. She is now sitting up on her own, which has made playtime more fun--and which will also help eliminate the bald spot on the back of her head. She loves solid food. Yesterday, she began eating Cheerios on her own too. She has grown so much in the last three months.

My only regret is that I did not find time for more adventures with her. We were on a good run for a few Wednesdays in a row (that being the best day for a trip, as both Andres and Celia are occupied in the morning and afternoon)--we went to the deCordova one week, and the ICA the next. But then I needed to have my car serviced, and we spent the following Wednesday at home cleaning up...and now, here I am, with only one more Wednesday to go. Thankfully we already have a field trip planned: we are going to Fenway Park with Natalia's class. That will be a fun way to round out the spring.

Working on the homefront is rewarding but challenging. I am usually irritable between 6 and 8 pm, precisely the times that the kids test (and need) my patience the most. In the rush to get Andres and Celia fed, bathed, and into bed, I often treat them like adversaries. I bark and argue more than I should. Natalia often has to remind me that they are but 5 and 3 years old, and that I should take their ages into consideration before establishing lofty behavioral expectations. She is right; I need to improve.

I don't have anything big planned for this final week. Routines will still dictate my schedule, and then on Monday, I'll return to the life I gladly left 12 weeks ago. Little will have changed there. But much has changed here, and though I will miss home life desperately, I'm glad to have been a part of it.